So this is how I feel right now . Every week . Every day . 

As i read your emails , I miss you so much sayang :(

 Sometimes it feels to me that you dont put as much effort as I do . You aren't like what you used to be . Not getting a reply from you in public humiliates me . Do you just want me for the sake of it ? Or do you actually still care about me ?

 I thought that this is what I wanted . What we wanted . But now it seems like you dont miss me at all . I know I shouldnt make be making any irrational accusations, but at least give me some sign of hope that you still care about me . It makes me ask myself this question, over and over again: 

From that very day we meet , on the 4th of January , I still remember every detail that has happened between us . The way you changed , day by day . Until you finally gave up your character , being a playboy . You made me fall in love with you . Everyday you taught me everything about love . It made my world complete. You were everything I wanted . Or that's what I thought it was. It's been 5 months . Five months, filled with drama. We've been through the happiness of becoming friends, falling in love , being influenced by others, breaking eachother's hearts , seeking revenge on eachother , feeling guilty , crying our lungs out, hating one another , not talking for months , slowly recovering , not being able to let go , and finally re-confessing to each other . We've been through alot . and we finally decided to fix everything and get back together. We had the key to each others heart.

But now i think that we've lost that special feeling . We aren't in love any longer . And it breaks my heart to say that . It really does sayang..

What I want, is the happiness we once had . Is that too much to ask for? :(