Well to all of the readers who have been reading my blog regularly, you must already know who kevin is. And now you will know who he was. Cuz now, I'm just telling you guys, that we have broken up . It's been two days, and I didn't update straight away because I needed a day or two to set my mind straight , to get over the sadness and blah blah blah. I just spent a night, thinking over all the memories I first had with him . How sweet he treated me when we first met, how he made me feel like the whole world was complete only with him, but now i found out that people can change over time - no matter how sweet they first seemed. So yeah, you guys must already know how much I loved him. How much he meant to me. But unfortunately, we couldn't prolong our relationship any further.

But yeah, thank goodness I'm over it, I've had my moments of realization that he isn't the one for me, so I guess for all you love-story/ quote haters can have a sigh of relief cuz I guess I wont be blogging about loving kevin anymore. hahahah. Its time to move on, and i guess im not that surprised that im not full on depressed as last time, because each time i think of him, my mind straight away reminds me of how much he hurt me , how little effort he put into our relationship. We tried 3 times. three times and i thought we would be strong enough. or even stronger than we were before! But i was wrong. Our love and sense of care for each other was obviously weaker than before. We had lost all of it. Well I still think I loved him with all my heart. Proof? Why did I still love him after all these months when all my friends thought I was crazy to be with him in the first place (because how many times he had hurt me), but I dont know, I think i was too ...what's the word... inspired? no.. not that. hmmm i was too.. infatuated by his over-sweetness of him when we first got together. And i just kept believing that he would always be like that. But the fact was that, he broke my heart several times, like how he wrote love statuses on his facebook about some other girl. and if they were meant for me, then why didnt he talk to me as much and express his true love feelings straight towards me? (like he used to) and yes , maybe I was too selfish, but long distance relationships are really difficult. especially when one has no webcam. its feels like online dating , for those who wanted to know what it feels like. So anyway, he told me that our relationship couldn't last any longer because Im always suspicious. - suspicious? well why shouldnt I be. He meant everything to me , yet he never considered my feelings what-so-ever. He never told me anything about all his statuses and his LOVE NOTE that he published on facebook (and that was addressed to his ex-girlfriend). So what does he think I am? a rebounder? meaning , he only dated me because he couldnt get another chance with his other ex? So anyways, I guess after thinking about all this, he isn't worth spending time to think about. Yes i admit he was my first love, and everything, and the only one who made me completely happy (and other several things I mentioned prior to this post like loooonng time ago on my blog) , but our love didnt last long. Maybe because we werent destined to be with eachother. Well I believe in destiny anyway, not sure if you guys do either or not. - sigh - anyways, this is what my final status was for facebook (to kevin.):

"Aku minta maaf, karena selalu curiga, tp dlm setiap hubungan, harus ada komunikasi yg baik. Kepercayaan tidak berarti kita bisa mendapati dgn gratis, but we must work for it in order to gain that trust. Especially when, hbgn jarak jauh sulit bgt, dan rasa sayang/cinta kita tidak sekuat kayak dulu. Mungkin cinta itu tidak bisa dipaksa. I hope you will find a wanita yang lebih cocok bagi kamu... Im sorry once again :("

(translated): " I am sorry, for always being suspicious towards you, but in every relationship, there must be good communication. Trust isnt something we get for free, but we must work for it in order to gain that trust. Especially when long-distance relationships are very difficult, and our feeling of love and care for eachother is not as strong as it used to be. Perhaps love really cannot be forced. I hope you will find a girl who is more suitable for you. I'm sorry once again."

~sigh. So anyway, I found this thing, which everyone should read. It would really make relationships last longer. Well, that concludes my post for today.

Happy Holidays Everybody :)

Me and Kevin : ♥ May 21st 2010 - June 28th