hahaha. my last post is so super duper long! :P sorry if theres any mistakes! hahaha. anyways , i actually wrote that yesterday night , so thats why the font is a little different.. lol.

www.tumblr.com

 I admit that I want someone new in my life. I’ve thought it through, and there is someone that could replace him, but we are close friends and I don’t want to ruin our friendship/relationship between us, just for the sake of my desire. I mean, if he would ever have feelings for me, I would be... beyond delighted. And people that think that I like the new guy, well to be honest, I really don’t care, because I know it’s not the truth. I don’t feel that he would complete ‘my world’. He would be a typical person who I’d just have a fling with, which means not for serious relationship – but just for fun. But again, I don’t want to get into a relationship where it’s just like that. I want to actually get into a serious relationship. And no, it’s not because “I want to have babies with them.” –(Mr O’Donnell - -“) . 

I would love a guy who is mature, kind, respectful, patient, and sweet - Of course, a guy who I can comfortably talk with about absolutely anything. And I guess there is already a guy who meets that criteria, but I don’t want to distract him in his studies, likewise, my own. It’s a shame Kevin changed. He taught me everything about love. He taught me how to love someone. How to respect other’s feelings, and he taught me that love is something that cannot be forced. If one couple were to madly be in-love for only a week, the bond between those two is not strong enough. That couple has not yet known each other’s real deep personality. 

Although Kevin seemed so perfect and was willing to change his bad behaviour – it only lasted for no more than 1 month. His real personality started appearing when I left him from Indonesia. One week just wasn’t enough for us. How could I have trusted him in the first place? Now as a consequence, I’m left heartbroken, and gosh-knows- how his life is in Indo. I’ve basically deleted all of his memories. And I was so close to deleting his phone number a few hours ago. But I resisted and I’ll save it for the future. –sigh- anyway, I shouldn’t even be saying this stuff about him.  Haih... I’m so drained thinking about these things. Right now, I just want to focus on my studying and fix all my weaknesses, but yet at the same time, I want that feeling of someone that cares about me , and someone who sayangs me. Like what if in Uni, there isn’t anyone else that is like him? Gosh I feel already so bad, that I’ve rejected him like hanging out in the city or going to a trip with him over states, since I’m “too young” according to my  parents they are like so sooo strict. haih. I know they just want to protect me, and I appreciate that they care about me, I really do, but I’m sure that he wouldn’t do anything to me in that kind of way. And I’m certainly not that kind of girl who would be willing to have free sex. Because I have dignity, I know where my boundaries are, I will not go against God’s law, and I am simply self conscious (bahahhaha.) So there you have it. My parents are like Mr OD, thinking about that “baby” business. lol . anyway, when I told him about this condition, he didn’t give up on our friendship :) and he accepted that my parents are like that , and we are still as close as ever. Okay, sorry, this is getting really strange.~ it feels weeeeird talking about him like this!!! Okay , I will stop my blabbering now. Sorry for this really long post today. I needed to express my feelings . weew. xoxox

It's the third fricken day , and there's already new gossip about me. 

- great.

Anyway , a person asked me from Formspring about it. ( ...i think someone's seriously stalking me. hahaha ) and here was my answer. and I hope it answered your answer too if you knew about it and was curious.

I just had to set things straight, that thinking that someone is hot, does not necessarily mean that they also like him/her. Oh well, it is school and gossip does spread around easily , so I'm not that shocked. hahahha. nevermind :) hehe.

Sigh. It’s the second day of school and I already feel tired. Strange huh. I don't understand how I feel so low tonight, because yesterday night on the otherhand, I was so happy ! mostly due to the fact that I had the awesome-st lunch time ever with my friends (n__n) and tonight I'm just so. . . .  tired. ~sigh~

this is frankie. bahahahha. 

The only thing that made me smile just now was the text I received from Frank . He just reminded me that we only have 3 months left to be with each other. Then once he graduates, I won’t have him as my brother anymore at school :( I think this saddened my mood even more actually, but sad as in not depressed, but sad as in I was saddened by his sweet words. It made me smile because he cares about our friendship. He values everything we have, everything that we have been through , from the very day we first met.  I swear, he is the sweetest guy ever I have ever met. Sure, I have said that phrase a few times, but this time I really mean it. And that title belongs to him. What I like about him is that he's funny (ha . we can basically talk about literally anything! we are completely open in sharing each other's secrets  and we laugh at each other's silly stories and experiences!), he's caring/kind ( in my lowest moods, he would cheer me up. and he’s waay too kind which is so sweet actually), he's thoughtful (he bought me too much gifts from places! hehe.. ), he's patient (he’s much more patient than me ! HA! and he accepted the fact that my parents are quite strict! So we couldn’t really hang out together.) – In conclusion, he's basically everything you  a girl would ever want in a guy bestfriend. I'm so grateful & thankful, that I have had all this time to become close friends with him. And if he ever reads this post, I bet he'll tell me off for praising him too much. again. haha lol :P but its not my fault he's too kind to me! I'm just expressing how it feels inside a girl's heart , especially if one has the most wonderful guy best-friend!  *teary* . I'll miss you so much Frankie when you leave :( But I promise, that I will never lose contact with you – no matter HOW OLD you are  (LOL sorry it’s an inside joke.). 

( from my Tumblr ) . 

hehe .. anyways , im in a blogging mood once again , so here i am blogging . im not sure if i will be able to blog so often when school starts but il try when i have absolute free time! bahahhaa. anyways , last night was so hilarious with me and my friend willy nathan :) we were talking about kevin and then i asked him ' ah i bet kevin has forgotten about me , right ? ' then he answered ' ahh i dont know , but yeah maybe , since i dont ask him about you anymore! LOL ' ... and i was like :O :O :O :O WHAAAT . he asked questions about meee???? thats sooo embarrassing!!! hahahhaa.  so i really wanted to know, but he decided to be a meanie and refuse to tell me what both of them were talking about (me!) and i was soooo curious, but he didnt wanna tell :( hahahahhaa. so i threatened him that i will karate chop him when i see him in indo . HAHAHA . hehehe ^^  . and yeahhh , hes such a funny guy :P but his friends and my friends think we're dating or something -___- which we arent! we are just friends ! seriously! hahahha. just because we seem close or really umm 'akrab' which means friends who cant talk about literally anything - that doesnt mean we are dating! plus , hes interested in someone else :P hahahaha. and as for me , well im single but dont plan to look for a boyfriend right at this moment . i actually like being single :) no wingeing , no fighting , no jealousy , no depressing moments so yeahhh . hehehe ^^

A story about a boy...

Credits: http://x-annamay.blogspot.com/

bahahhaa. i still suck at adding in some random / cool widget to my blog! :P HTMLs are so difficult to control! one step wrong, then the whole layout of the blog stuffs up! grrrr. but anyways , i added something new to my blog (like i always do every now and then so that it doesnt get boring! hehe (n.n) . and i added a new 'poll/voting' system , where you readers can vote what you think about my posts :D because i would love to know what you readers think about my posts! and wooot! go you - the first person who voted 'fine' for my blog! thanks alot :D  mwach! xxxx

I'M GOING TO SAY THIS LOUD AND PROUD :)

I'm not ashamed to be a Christian :)

Because many of us know , that He really does exist.

Where's the proof?

Well don't just stand there.

There is no proof because you haven't been looking enough. 

But you say that there is no scientific proof that he exists?

Of course, because God's presence doesn't come cheaply - for He is holy.

And he cannot be proved scientifically .

But spiritually.

Ultimately it is up to you whether you want to believe in Him or not .

But when time comes, I guarantee that you and all of us, will see the truth .

John 14:6 

6 Jesus said to him, “I am the way, the truth, and the life. No one comes to the Father except through Me."
 

-Please remember that this is my opinion along with many other Christians.

And this is my blog, so I am entitled to post or rant about whatever I please.

So please respect that and I'll respect your opinions and views.

Thanks , love Merry x

  

Credits : to the wonderful artist "Sheena" ! :D . Go check out her awesome talent :

http://sheenalovessunsets.tumblr.com/

http://sheenalovessunsets.tumblr.com/

http://sheenalovessunsets.tumblr.com/

Hello! :D sorry I havent blogged for a while . I've been so busy lately . I have some bad news, which is - I start school again in 2 days (including today!) and i reaaaaallly dont wanna go to school! holidays may have been a tad boring on some days , but its so much better cuz i have been having dreams again! bahahhaa. alright , for those who dont know this already, but I RARELY or even maybe NEVER  have dreams ! at all . and i just assumed my brain functioned like that because either my creative side of the brain hadnt been functioning properly or its because my brain has been over-used to study during the day time and at night time (until late at 2.00am - ish) . Hence, my brain was already fried and was too tired to think (or dream) . So yeah . But anyways , these holidays , my brain has been dreaming again , so i guess my brain is relaxed and calm and has the energy to generate my dreaming . ? hahahah . ;P sorry . ahem . anywho, back to my point , i dont want holidays to end! and ive been spending good quality time with my family ♥ and yeah its been reallly fun spending time with them cuz almost everyday we laugh at random stuff. especially when my brother has to go to school, so me mum and dad are left in the house alone . and then my parents have these weird funny jokes and then i end up laughing for 10 minutes . 0_o bahahah . and during these holidays , my parents have been teasing me .. about 2 guys from schoool. then they both laugh at me , along with my brother . they say all this stuff and im the victim of their teasing!! T__T  . But then me and my parents tease my brother about this girl who likes my brother called "Siobian" bahahaha. its so funnnny to tease him , cuz hes still young and then hes like " nooo dont tease meeee " bahahaha. hehehee its funnnn. ♥ and yeah . i do miss my friends (no doubt!) but i realised that friends tend to come and go , and that upsets me , so i want to learn to be more independent this semester :) and i really need to achieve my goal in IB . I want to be accepted into Monash University then become a General Practitioner (GP aka dokter umum) AMIN.  :D hehehe. So anyways , i have to make my parents proud cuz they are so important in my life and I want to show them what I am capable of . Cuz to tell you the truth , i have made them disappointed in my last semester's report result , and i am not going to fail to make them happy again :). So please Tuhan Yesus , bless me Lord! Amin amin amin .

You know , i REAALLY wanna start learning how to drive now!! I've had this 'driving book' for a couple of months now in my room on my desk, but ive only looked at it a few times 0_o , my dad says i should read it everyday so i can get my license sooner, but my mum says i should focus on my school studies first. so....... what should I do? i mean , i basically already know all the basic stuff like road rules and signs but i dont know what theyre gonna test me on! :S . and i really want to be able to drive before I go into uni , so that i can drive everywhere and visit my family every weekend or so . and drive with my friends to the city to go shopping or elsewhere :P hehe .

but on the other hand , i have other things to read like my English novel : Perfume . - -" . actually this book isnt bad, except it drones on about making perfume and that crazy lunatic who kills girls . and its much better than the book , " Rashomon" ! Oh man . that book is pretty much about murder as well , except they are individual stories but in my opinion , are quite boring . haha . lol . so .. yeahhh , i kinda gave up and didnt read the last few chapters... hehe....


Oookaaay , well im still scared about the lecture that i will get on monday by my maths teacher, but apart from that i miss all my friends out there and i'll be sure to give them all a great big hug on monday to all! mwach! xxxx

ay! well! i just had a 15 minute panic attack over, SHINee's new hairstyles!!! They used to be so cute and handsome, but now they have totally changed!! I was soooo extremely upset to see KEY . (the guy who basically shaved half his hair off.!) cuz he used to be so cuuute , and now unfortunately I have to say that hes ugly :( awwh im still so disappointed. and Taemin (the guy who has long hair) looks more like a pretty girl!! T__T huhuhu. and Onew (the guy who has the half - parted hair) looks.... erm .... interesting..... the only guys who look normal are Minho (who i admit looks SO HOT & SEXY! bahahhaah) and Jonghyun . sigh . oh well . what can i do , apart from cry ? Wanna see how bad it really is? Okay .

 

(credits : http://shiningshineeworld.blogspot.com/)

More pictures that will blow your mind.

 J o n g h y u n .

 His hair style is still tolerable . But I liked his blond hair better!

 K e y  .

NO. Just NO. I hate his new disappointing hairstyle!
I hate it so much that I wanted to cry the first time I saw it.

 T a e m i n  .
Waaaah. He looks so pretty .

O n e w  .

OK. I reaally cant stand his new hairdo.
He looks (im sorry) gay :(

 M i n h o  .

Dang in the music video, he looks the hottest.
He's just so dang sexy .

Anyway , if you're a SHINee fan, and you have not watched the latest Music Video, here it is :

Despite the awful haircuts , they are still the lovable Korean group band, SHINee :)

With their awesome voices, and dancing.

Credits (photos and video.) : youtube & tumblr.

.....Omg this is soooo cuuuute! i cant stop awwwh-ing.....

ohhhh - sweet childhood innocence!

and this is so true :)

ahh okay where do i start . hmmm . well last night , i webcamed with my brother frankie ^^ . and it was so much fun! cuz he told me really funny but awkward stories and his past experiences :P hehehe . but the internet was so stupid! the connection was so slow, it blurred the webcam pictures and he received my IM's (messages) like 10 secs after i wrote it . hoih . but anyways, hes the best ever ! cuz we can literally talk about anything! and he always laughs , so yeahhh , people who laugh at my stories make me feel even more comfortable to talk with them :) and hes so understanding!! like i have rejected him a couple of times ( to hang out with him in the city for example ) , because my parents are waaaaaay over-protective towarrds me . hahahah . so anyways , i hope our friendship will last , but im sure it will . hehhe . 

TODAY , after church , me and my family went around the city and finally to broadmeadows shopping centre, and my mum was feeling generous and she helped me to convince dad to buy me this white leather jacket . ^^ . its sooo pretty and ive always wanted a leather jacket . hehehe . well actually i originally was looking for a black jacket but they were all too small cuz the bigger jackets were all sold out :( -ooo well , im satisfied with my white jacket :D hahaha .

So when we arrived home, i was pretty much tired . but i wanted to tag people for this friendship thing . it made me happy to share the love with others. ahahaha . so far, i have gotten good feedback , so.. its all good :D 

ooo , but also i recently became paranoid when will's friend called him genjeng or ganjeng or how ever you spell it . lol . and it basically means 'flirtatious' . cuz we've become really good friends and i guess im just so comfortable that i start talking waaay too much .. hahaha . and we wall-to-wall eachother so its understandable if people get suspicious . but im pretty sure we know our boundaries and we are only friends .. haha but i still felt bad . so ive asked him if im annoying him but he said that its okay (: hehe so yeahhh its all good now :D ooo and i might meet up with him in september (if i have time! D: ) so yeahhh im quite excited actually . hahahhaha. cuz we've never met before , and if youre all wondering , he is Kevins brother but i became friends with him through facebook . and im so curious to see how he speaks english . cuz hes so fluent! hahaha , no wonder im comfortable to talk with him . ;)

anywhos, for the last 3 days , this old friend of mine from primary school , started talking to me again. and ive seen her statuses and they are all pretty desperate. shes always begging for someone to comment , though no one does. and now shes bugging me to always comment . and like shes always continuously asking me the same day-to-day questions repetitively so im kinda getting sick of her . and i know i sound so mean and horrible , but seriously , shes literally becoming OBSESSED with me . cuz just then , after i said goodnight to her , she told me to comment one of her statuses after i wake up. how creeepy is that???? i mean , i usually reply peoples messages in the morning , when i check, but you wouldnt expect someone to TELL YOU that you MUST reply them as soon as you wake up!!!! Ok seriously , im getting reaaaally scared. lol . and she started demanding why i didnt tag her on my friends picture. and asking me why and when i will tag her . just no comment.. anyway , to conclude this post... I asked a question to my bestfriends brother, and i swear he is so dang cold ! like the way he speaks . !! hoih.  another scary  person. i mean i asked him nicely . and hes like  'dont start with the lah' . so i was like wtf? its not like lah is HIS word . lah is indonesian , thank you very much, you cold person who talks like a doorknob. bahahha , sorry cassie taught me that phrase. hehehe .

OMG its so lateeeeeeeee. and my friend (boy) is asking me for love adviceeeee! hahahaha . and its about this girl (who is also my friend!!!)  , and shes also asking me for advice and help about him!!! at the same timeeee! hahahahah . oh this is awkward. LOL. mannn , soooo many friends ask me to help them with their love problems . and i have to admit, i give quite good advice to them . ^^ hehehe . maybe i should become a professional love guru . hahahhahaha . XD im a professional when it comes to love problems . unless if its about me . i cant even help myself . how sad is that :( so ashley is my personal love advisor . bahahhaa . 

okay good night everyone! xxxx

wow . i was in such a good mood before, cuz i webcamed with frankie and it was fun . :)
until i logged onto my formspring, and found a message saying i dont have friends.

- well excuse me , but thats not nice at all.

heres what i said :

hahahha , what a loser :P ow well . im over it . if they want to start a fight  , i aint scared . i probably have an idea who it might be . someone annoying . a guy for definite . and yeah . o well .  at least someone NICE defended me.

goodnight. x 

Some quiz that i took off from myspace . 

(&  whoahhhh myspace is like completely abandoned or something!)

What is a difference between the last two people you hugged?

ahh , one was my mum <3 and the other was my brother <3

Do you believe that your ex still loves you?

ha. well i proved it last night . and its official that he doesnt :)

Where is the next place you will go?

mmm , melbourne city tmor i think . 

Have you cried in the past 48 hours at all?

ah. yes.. . . . . . . just .. ahem .. before ..!!

What were you doing at 8:00 this morning?

SLEEEP :) but waking up soon later.

When was the last time you cried?

2 hours ago!! - -"

Do you say sexy a lot?

umm.. if im trying to tell someone about a hot sexy guy , then yes?

hahahaha. 

Do you have any gay friends?

nope..

What is something you currently want?

hmmm... maybe someone new?

When did you last throw up?

looonng time ago.

Do you like corn?

No..

How old were you when you had your first kiss?

:$ aku belum pernah di ciummmmm og ! 

Whens the last time you updated your status?

ahhh last night.? idk... cant remember.

Have you ever gambled in a casino?

noo.

Do you like to have long hair or short hair?

ahh i like long hair better, but then when its been far too long , then i like change :)

What is your favorite place you have traveled?

Hmmm . idk . indo? thats the only place ive been overseas .. so....

Do you like ice cream?

YEAAAH <3

What is your favorite color?

Puuurple . but i like any pretty colours :)

What was the last thing you bought?

Ski Stuff for the ski trip .

Where do you keep your money?

uh.... i dont exactly have a specific spot.

What was the weather like today?

FREEZING.

What do you want for Christmas?

my wishlist is actually complete. hahaha.

laptop - check

new touch screen phone - check

nintendo ds - check

new camera - check

so... nothing really :) il be fine with anything. like eaarrrings :D hahah!

Do you want to cut your hair?

i already did. but i want to cut it shorrrter.!

Do you like to eat ice from your empty soft drinks?

haha.. nope.. i have sensitive teeth :S

What is your favorite place to shop?

Not sure.

Do you have empty bottles of alcohol hidden somewhere?

Noo.

Are you typically a jealous person?

Ahhh.... i try not to?

Own bright colored underwear?

HA ! no.

Who is the last person to text you?

hmmm hmmm hmmmm.

AYGIEL :D

What was the best movie you have seen in the past two weeks?

toy story 3 (:

Are you going to have a good night?

sure..?

Do you have strange dreams?

i rarely have dreams.

When was the last time you did the dishes?

the other day.

Do you trust all of your friends?

only a few.

What are you listening to?

nothinnnng.

Have you ever had your heart broken?

Once. uggghh.!

Are you happy?

um .. not really.. :/ 

okay . . .  i reaaally dont know how do deal with HTML!! I've been trying to work with this music player thing to add on my blog, but as you seee, its not working!!! so okay.. you might be able to listen to music now, but if you figured, its kinda behind the blog screen . just ... no.... comments okay? hahaha . enjoy my fav songs :) mwach.

c o n f e s s i o n s

Oh i forgot to tell you.

I permanently deleted, him , from my facebook . Yes , i deleted kevin. i figured that i spend waaaay too much time looking at his profile or statuses , in search for a little bit of sight of hope from him . or like if he posts a status that is for me or something ( which is unlikely! but anyway ) . So yeah , i just .. deleted him .. just like that . and then i went to check his profile again, and his profile is protected, meaning that i cannot get access to his wall page... " Good. " I thought . Stops me from being able to scroll down his page. And , ive also decided to delete all those sms's from him , because they are useless. What for must i keep them ? So thats right ,  I am no longer keeping any memories from him , with me . He is no longer a sweet memory  - but instead, i will regard his past presence as a dream . or even , my worst ever nightmare.

 For those girls , who do the same thing as thing as i did. - just admit it!
You know you're as guilty as I am. 


HAHAHA. 

guess what! this afternoon, i was helping my mum cook... and she told me to cut the potatoes , and she did a little demonstration just in case. and i was like , 'yeah yeah yeah (*how hard could it be? its just peeling the potato with a potato peeler) .' and then in the first 5 seconds of me using the brand new peeler, i cut my finger!!! i was like , *ok ok dont panic dont panic!!* and then i started running around in circles trying to find the darn band-aid. - cuz it was bleeding. . . and my mum started panicking (cuz she doesnt like the sight of blood)  -___- . hahaha. what a day.

Gaaaah! This indo guy keeeps on stalking my comments on facebook! Like I'm having a convo with one person right ( like a wall-to-wall message ) and he just randomly comments on a couple! so like, hes being reading all our conversations and stuuff! D: ! eeeek! and , the thing is, i dont understand his language! i understand indo and all but the way he talks makes me lost & confused!! so its like uuuuuber awkward now, cuz just now, he commented (consecutively) 5 times MY different comments / messages that I wrote to OTHER people .. not him! D: CREEEEEPY!

awwh... okay i know im blogging at quite a late time D: but , he just requested (on fb) me to be his sister! thats so sweet.. friendship is so sweet :)  .oh and today, mr y sms'ed me and he told me the saddest thing ever. and i thought kevin treated me like i didnt exist, well that is nothing compared to what he suffered through in his relationship :( but im glad that i could make him a bit more cheerful afterwards, after i had talked to him. -sigh- seriously , what is up with materialistic girls?? using guys as a tool to buy her everything! and the amount of money that he spent for her! YET she betrayed their relationship! yes thats right , she cheated on him! i was so mad at her because i know that my friend (whose a boy) is a loyal guy, and she just used him, just like that! ugh. and so when he made a final decision, i completely supported him. because i felt so sorry for my poor friend :( . I hope your heart recovers soon , my friend.. i'll always be there for you. like i am to each and every one of my friends out there . <3