Yeah okay, my previous post was supposed to be posted up like a few days ago.. but I had been so lazy to finish up with i wanted to originally write up, so the ending isn't as what had actually happened.. but I just edited that post before writing this post, and right now I'm quite emotional, so I just didnt have that motivation to write the full details. You'll see why after this post. *sigh* so basically, you must all be curious about who I like right? It is quite obvious at times, but I've decided to put away paranoid thoughts about people gossiping about me . So nevermind. Basically, after all these times, I have really began to like him . Like every time we meet or walk past eachother, his smile would just make me smile . Every little nice thing he did to me made me happy. When we sat together on the bus, that was something major, cuz people even took pictures of us sleeping . But this is nothing compared to what happened last Sunday. David rang me and told me that he wants to invite me for dinner! Thats something. Then, he rang me a few hours later and we talked for 30 minutes or so , and had an actual general conversation. I was the happiest girl in the world, because first , he had the courage to even do those things, and secondly, it gave me new hope that it was positive that he liked me. I was so happy, because after all these times, after the break up between me and Kevin, i was so glad that i have found someone new in my life. I mean, that doesnt necessarily mean I am crazily in love with him, but i guess that this time  its just one of those typical teenage crushes, that causes your heart to skip a beat, every time you're near that special someone :)

                                    

The point is, its been quite some time that he has been giving me hope. Seriously, why would he do all that for me if he didnt like me in that way? He even gave me his jacket when i was cold on the bus, and wrapped it around me . But today, something that he wrote as his status, has changed my whole perception towards the way he treats me . I'm not going to state exactly what he wrote for privacy reasons, but it gave a great negative impact towards my feelings. My emotional state right now is so low, I feel like I've been used. I feel like I've been toyed around . I feel like I've been led on . And the final and worst, is that I feel like an idiot because this has happened to me twice now. He has done this to me before, last year . When he led me on, and I thought he liked me, but in fact, he liked another girl back in Hong Kong . I was so devastated last year and if I'm not mistaken, I think i cried as well.. So now you can imagine how I feel now. Like emma said, its so weird because we reached the highest point in our relationship and now, all because of that status,  its all shattered. I dont even know what to think anymore. Maybe I'm over-reacting. Maybe I'm being immature about this all. But what can one do, after finding out that the guy that you liked and has given you so much hope , (and all of the effort that both of you made to even get to this strong stage in your friendship), and even when it had reached to a point where you thought that something serious was about to strike, it all disappears in less than five minutes. -sigh- but oh well. This is reality . This aint no perfect love story that you see in movies. If he likes another girl, then so be it. If that status was for me, and how he wants to forget about me, then so be it. I'll just go under the blankets tonight and cry my heart out.

P.s - the second image that you see in this post, is dedicated to you. Yeah thats how i felt , but i wonder how it will be tomorrow when I see you again.