Ewwwwll. I just looked at how horrendous my blog looks! Gosh!! It's so boring!! Hahahaha. Anyways, I don't have much time to blog nowadays, even though it's the holidays. I've been so busy going out almost everyday with my family~ and like I said last time, I don't have the inspiration rush come into me to design any word arts. Lol. 

So, what's with the image I put up? Well, it relates to my previous post from a few weeks ago. Why don't I ramble on about guys anymore? Well, there's my answer. It actually feels good to not  fill my teenage brain with useless feelings and thoughts about a guy. I think I will never be able to fully understand what feelings they have for certain people.. and the way they express it, I do not know. In this month, I realized that I would rather have many guy friends, than to have a boyfriend or be in like with a boy. 

My Reason? Because having normal guy friends can mean that you can simply have fun and enjoy life, than to be prisoned in your own heart, not knowing how to deal with the inconsistency of your feelings, how to control the way you talk with him and simply, being crushed by the truthful words that come out from his mouth. Rejection is a painful thing. Dramas and movies exaggerate reality too much. And that, is the main problem. Girls expect too much and boys don't have the guts to be manly enough to show his feelings in front of everybody. Consequence? The guy leaves it to the girl to handle their unknown relationship dilemma. Problem is, girls are very emotionally unstable. It's more than PMS, I think. Period or no period, being emotional is something that girls cannot control sometimes. Some can hide their feelings behind the smiles and laughter they put on show, but at night, that's when she pours her heart out with tears. Other girls just simply have no control, and consequently, they become high or even violent. And displaying these sort of feelings in front of the boy... hmm, not a great result I tell ya. I can imagine the guy having a negative image of that girl which leads them into disliking the girl, because they aren't able to take the hint that the girl has reached over-patience level, and boys simply can't and don't know how to comprehend that. Ha. I find this next image very amusing, because ultimately, well.. for most cases, this is the cycle of relationships that are based from stupid teenage love:

It doesn't necessarily happen all the time, though I know that it happens a lot of the time. Okay, now I feel weird that I've suddenly changed. Was it because of him? All the expectations and admiration I had for him were erased, all because of his words? I'm not sure really. I guess I was sick of thinking about these sort of stuff. I ain't really in the best position is terms of school work either. It's like I had this sudden gush of lightning past through my mind, that opened my eyes and my heart and released all the depression I've encountered this year. I realised that everything that I have done this year, was completely useless. So now it's time for change. I don't want to be that typical teenage girl who cries at night because some boy had broken her heart. Instead, I just want to enjoy my life for once, without any obstacles that causes me to shake, lose confidence or even cause a teardrop to fall from my eyes.

That's all for now,

(btw, Indonesia's Garuda soccer team is hopeless right now. I guess Malaysia has won the Asia Soccer Finals or whatever fancy name they have for it :S hahaha)

Goodnight,

A lot of thoughts and love expressed tonight,

Merry x