I'm in no mood to discuss my emotions on here.

I am painfully afraid of what is to come, and I'm still unable to convince myself that I can do it.

He knows what I am thinking, He knows what I'm feeling, and only He knows my future and has the power to change everything. My fate depends on how I live on this earth. But the emotions that are inside my heart are indescribable, and too difficult to express. 

What is the meaning of this life, actually? 

& What was the true purpose of my existence in this world?

We are born, we learn, we have dreams of our own, (for some) we start a family, and then we die.

This is my last chance. I am frightened, I am scared, I feel like a coward, and I feel like if I fail - I have failed life as a whole.